I'm figuring out how to work through the problems here though. With the language barrier and cultural differences it's been a struggle and still is but I'm learning, howbeit too slow for my taste.
Today I got the urge to read an old blog I used to keep during my cruising days. Oh man, did that bring back the memories. And what fun memories! I really loved cruising and really hope to cruise again.
It sparked me to write some emails to potential cruise partners and reaffirmed my interest in recording a promo video after my contract in Korea so that I can get back out on the high seas.
It seems to be clearer and clearer to me the longer I am on land, that the sea is where I want to be. It's where I love to be. It's where I feel at home.
What's also interesting is that in the past year I've had several crushes. My heart has finally healed enough to become open to a new love, but even though this potential exists, my heart is leading me back out to the ocean and not after anyone on land.
Am I destined to be alone forever? Are friends the only source of intimacy I will have in my future?
I don't know these answer but I wonder.
Am I in love with the ocean and am I always meant to sway on its rocky seas?
One can never really know what life has in store for them. That is what makes life fun; not knowing, just going ~ letting life change around you and change you.
I really truly hope to perform for many people on the high seas once again.
Love of the heart can not keep me here on this dry land. It seems my heart belongs to another for now.
I just tried to go through some old facebook photos to find a great smile to post here but there are soooo many. Seems I was having a great time :-D
Here is a great smile though from my very first cruise ever. I was already hooked ;-p