Wednesday, May 29, 2013

The fogginess that is my future

The title might sound somewhat dismal, but it isn't really my mood.

I'm continuing down the road of suitcases, couches, new friends, new faces, and potentially new places.

My recent trip to Seattle was a most welcomed and wonderful trip. Folklife was amazing as usual and the friends I made and the friends I already love made it all worthwhile.

Now it's back to family for a few days and then back in my car down the road again.

I have a week to pack for a month of gigs and gags (don't take that the wrong way now) in Tulsa where my friend and I, who miss each other now, will once again learn to hate each other soon :)

After Tulsa is unknown; perhaps foggy at best. There are glimpses of what my summer could hold, but no definites. That is the way of my life for the most part though so this shouldn't be surprising to anyone regularly reading these posts. Making plans months in advance seems nigh to impossible and usually technically is. I will say this though, it certainly makes life interesting.

One has to be up for anything, take the risks, take the chances, get scared, push on anyway, make the memories, make the friends, learn the stories, learn the lessons, remember the faces, and remember the places for one day I hope to do it all over again.


Tuesday, May 21, 2013


It wasn't easy the few days after the big disappointment of not having a new job (or any job). I'm always up for trying new things and living off the cuff so to speak, but even I need a hope of possibility and I had run out it seemed.

It only seemed though. My life seems to have more blind curves and near death intersections than probably it keeps me alive and excited.

Only days after the letdown, tears and dismay subsiding and depression and hopelessness setting in, I happened upon a possibility.

That's all I need.

A possibility.

That possibility is now my new summer job. After a couple small gigs in June I'll be moving to Albuquerque NM for the summer. I'm excited about spending time in a part of the country I've only driven through and experiencing all the things Albuquerque and surrounding areas have to offer (and yes, there are things there including good mountain biking I here!).

So after a completely helpless and financially oblique and desolate outlook on summer I now have a hopeful and even anticipated eagerness to the forthcoming adventure.

Many new and wonderful things will come of this I feel.

Until then...

Seattle's Folklife ~ HERE I COME!!!!!!!!!!!

Friday, May 17, 2013


Someone slapped me in the face hard, drove an uppercut to my jaw, kneed me in my stomach and swept my legs out from under me.

Not literally.

It just feels like it.

I can hardly stand and I can't tell which way is up or down or left or right. I don't know where I am or where I'm going. I barely know my name.

Being independent has its perks. But sometimes it's the hardest thing in the world, it seems, to pick your own self up and find your way home.

That's why friends make life possible. They are the beacons of light on the street corners to help me see my way, wherever it is I'm headed. Sometimes those lights fade and sometimes the beam brightly. Whichever way the shine, I'm so glad to have them to help light my way.

I'm hurt. I'm sad. I'm broken. I'm bruised. I'm disabled.

I'll mend.


I'm standing in a room. It's so dark. There was one door at the very end with a bright shining light streaming through it. I was running for that door when it slammed shut in my face. Now as I turn around I see nothing but darkness. I see no windows or doors in this room. The door I came through is no longer. Where do I go? Where do I turn? I wish someone would turn on a light in another room so I could see even a mere outline of a direction to go. Until then, I can only spin in circles, ever widening, reaching out into the darkness and hoping that whatever I touch doesn't harm me more than I can heal. If no light ever shines, then I will be forced to circle forever until I can no longer reach out my hand and then if no one comes to take my hand, I will die.

Monday, May 13, 2013

...To Put On A Circus

"Perhaps we should mourn a little that good music, well played, is no longer enough to draw audiences". This is something I've been talking about for a while with people that I meet. It was Eric Harrison of the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette said yesterday in his review for the final pops concert of the Arkansas Symphony.

The concert was a great one, Cirque de la Symphonie, but it is sad to see that the fullest house outside of the ritualistic Christmas concert is the one where the music is showcased the least. What has happened to cause such a drop in live symphony concert attendance?

It's not the high prices. A symphony ticket will cost you $15-$30 while a pop rock concert will cost you nigh $100 or over.

It's not the time or day. Symphony concerts offer Saturday nights and Sunday afternoons.

It's not the lack of recognizable literature. You've all heard portions of this music in commercials, cartoons, restaurants, etc.

It's not the dress code. Symphonies now put on concerts like Beethoven and Blue Jeans so feel free to come as dressed down as you like.

It's not the lack of skill and preparation to behold on stage. These musicians on stage have trained their entire lives and rehearsed individually for weeks and together multiple times to put on just one show.

It's not that there are too few performances. Some symphonies perform every week, some every month, but they perform many months of the year so finding a concert is not difficult.

It is...Necessary to mourn. (click to read the article)

But it's also necessary to inspire our younger generations to appreciate classical music past and present. It's not all written by dead people. There are living composers whose works are premiered today! Take your children, your nieces and nephews, your neighbors' children, buy tickets for children at your local school or church. Spread the love and joy that classical music from yesterday and today can bring to the lives of the upcoming generations.

Let's mourn and then let's renew our spirits and rekindle the fire lost; lest it die away and be lost forever.

Saturday, May 11, 2013

Final preparations

The day is fast approaching for my last Backroads interview. I've done nearly all I can do between the time I was invited and now. There are still a couple of loose ends I hope to tie on Monday, but there was such a short amount of time to do everything that I may not succeed.

I have accomplished a few things in this time though. My favorite was spending a day at a bike coop taking apart my bike, putting it back together, taking it apart, putting it back together, taking another bike apart, putting it back together, taking...

Here's proof!

Yes, my bike may look like it's together but you wouldn't want to ride it right now!

Here's another picture of a last minute crazy frenzy....

Pretty huh?!

When you only have a week to schedule this stuff it's definitely not easy, not even remotely.

But I want this so I made it happen!

Now it's just a lot of time spent with Rosetta Stone, Latino friends and choffy :)

So glad the last concert is tomorrow so I have one day without practice and music concerts to get everything ready to go. It won't be easy since there is also a 4 hr drive included in that day, but it's possible!

Check back in a week and I'll let you know what the outcome is.

Praying that all the time and money spent toward this end will be repaid plus over by my new job. I really can't afford a depression counselor nor an alcoholic lifestyle so it's all or bust.

Please wish me luck everyone and think of me this Thursday :)