Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Picking up the pieces

Sometimes life seems like a nice gentle float ride down a lazy river; or at least that's what people tell me.

I'm not sure I've really experienced that concept outside of working on a cruise ship. Once I cross the gangway life somehow regains its charm and splendor.

It felt at times as though I were standing high above the ground on a small piece of plexiglass and around me, falling ever so slowly, were the various pieces of my life. Pieces I had worked so hard to put in places were coming unglued and falling away and I had no hopes of reaching down to catch them and put them back. It's a very scary feeling and a scary place to be standing. It's also the only place you can be in order to keep growing and rediscover new parts of yourself. Without those precious pieces falling away there would be no room for better, shinier, more fabulous, (insert adjective of your choice), pieces to attach and in result make you a more complete person.

Many people have asked or told me that I should move on, quit pursuing the dream I have and lead a normal life. Why in the world would I want to do that? I'm so glad that despite the road blocks I've encountered, I've continued pushing for what I love. No, I don't want to do this forever, but the time will soon be gone and to have wasted it or let it pass without a fight would have been regrettable in later years. Although, I do live by the standard that you should regret nothing. Life is full of choices and you may want to regret some of the poorer ones you've made, but without making those decision you would not be the person you are today. With that realization, I don't believe regret should be a force in lives, but rather self discovery and exploration.

It's been over a year since I was relegated to land. I've run the course through land's trials, trying not to die upon each new lethal landmine. It has been quite the "adventure" but I'm dying (pun intended) to get back out to sea.

Lucky for me, my new agent finally called me with a job offer. It's been a whirlwind of yes's and no's and maybe's and no shows but it's almost finally come together. There are still a few loose strings flapping around but I'm doing my best to snip them off or pull them in tightly, whichever.

I'm ready to leave Calvert and all the small town feel has to offer. It's not that I don't like small towns, but I'm bored. That sounds harsh I know, but it's the truth.  My person is in constant need of lots of stimulation and there just isn't that much around here. It has been very relaxing though. Days spent laying on the sofa taking naps and petting cats, drinking wine and feeling fine! These days interspersed of course with waking at 6:30 to go to the office, drag the day away, slowly make it home, collapse on the first chair inside the door to check email and fall asleep sitting up.

This new cruise will be a much desired return to the calmness of life that I enjoy, but it will also be a new venture into exciting discoveries of people, places, music and food.

As I change places from Calvert to the ship I'll update you along the way. Still to come is a story of my latest Alaskan adventures, so stay tuned for that.