I've never worked someplace with such extremes. One day people are literally swearing at you and you're in tears. There are threats of layoffs and salary deductions and attacks on personal character as well as complete disregard for one's spoken word of truth. There are few times I've felt so hurt and angry and helpless in my life. Then the very next day, the same people come to you with words of affirmation, gifts of gratitude, and promises of a bright future. It's mind boggling to say the least. It's also no wonder so many people, but girls especially, get trapped here. There is always hope just around the corner of the devastation; just enough hope to keep you going, to keep you believing.
You may remember from a recent post, the quote: Everything is a lie!
This is true to every extent. You keep believing, but what you are hoping for and believing in is all just a fantasy. The mirage is good. It's so well crafted and honed to absolute perfection, that even in the face of reality, it is hard to turn away and acknowledge the truth of its deception. Harder yet, once the truth is accepted, turning away from the hope and fantasy of life crushes even the most ardent of truth seekers because once you turn away, there is nothing facing you but open desert and the emptiness of your unknown future.
This is life in India. There are small mirages, medium sized ones, and the largest mirage of all, happiness living and working in India. Notice that it's "living and working" in India. As a tourist, this country is well versed in hospitality and can treat a visitor to the wealth of luxury treatments only the richest demand. But visiting this country and living/working in it are two vastly different things. This I have discovered and it's proven at every step along the way.
There must be a stalwart soul inside to live and work here. Even the slightest ripple of weakness is preyed upon with such veracity it's astonishing to watch. Whether Indian or not, in this country, only the strongest, most selfish, most greedy, most connected, most obstinate survive. It's a cock fight every day and if you're unable to jump in the pit, wounds and all, you will fail. You will die.